Green Bastard

Description

Green, a primary colour which can apparently alleviate anxiety and depression. If someone is inexperienced you may call them green. If someone cares for the environment they are green. It can signal safety or 'Go'. It's the bit with the hole in golf. Above all of this though, Green to me, brings firmly to mind Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys' wrestling alterego The Green Bastard! For quite a while I have been creating green based recipes because I wanted to use this name. My biggest hurdle was the fact that, as a fat cunt, I don't care for green things much… lime is ok but where's the fun in a straight lime recipe? After messing around for way too long with absinthe before realising i don't like it either, especially mixed with other green stuff I jettisoned that idea and went down the Zen Garden route. If you mix with Zen you need poke a stick of rosemary into an orifice. I'm not sure why but apparently it's the rules. Lime, more lime, Zen… it was ok bit fucking dry though, Ricky. Cucumber? It's horrible I know! Luckily CNV's version is not very close to cucumber, it's wet though and weirdly sweet. Sod it why not, and while I'm at it FLV lovage? That's weird and green tasting, it works with citrus like a charm too, adding volume and a little extra wet. Ok, tang? limes… PretensionZen… Moistness? Cucumber and Lovage… what's missing? Sticky Sweetness? Why not… WF Quince Jelly? Hell yeah!! Quinces are kinda green aren't they? This tastes green and delicious. I think I nailed it and it only took about 207 versions. There's absolutely a need to thank me!

Recipe

CNV Cucumber 2%FLV Lovage Root 0.2%FA Lime Tahity Distilled 1%FA Zen Garden 0.8%SSA Sour Lime 2%WF Quince Jelly SC 1%

Total Flavor: 7%